Not  to Scale (2014)

It is not clear who makes and who is made in the relation between human and machine. It is not clear what is mind and what body in machines that resolve into coding practices. Insofar as we know ourselves in both formal discourse (e.g., biology) and in daily practice (e.g., the homework economy in the integrated circuit), we find ourselves to be cyborgs, hybrids, mosaics, chimeras.

Donna Haraway, from A Manifesto for Cyborgs: Science, Technology, and Socialist Feminism in the 1980s

Material: Video game, strategy guide, posters, old desktop computer, small table, desk lamp, headphones, purple carpet, pink paint

Dimensions: Variable

STATEMENT

In this interdisciplinary work, I am exploring the creation of the self (through an exploration of my own self) and the experience of living within and between both the physical and virtual worlds. I attempt to address this creation of the self, the creation of (a hybrid and multi-faceted) identity, place and memory, and I draw from observations, personal experiences, and childhood in particular. I approach this work from the perspective of a young, cyborg feminist woman and as someone who has grown up with the internet. 

Having moved a lot, my sense of self and place have been formed, developed, constructed and reconstructed with each move. In addition, my sense of self and place have been informed by the virtual, which has been, in a way, my only permanent and stable living space and community: another home.

The physical locations explored in this work were of places I've lived between the ages of 0 and 18. While making this work, I attempted to pull directly from my memory — I want to reconstruct these places where I had once lived growing up only from what I can remember — and I am actively avoiding looking at old photographs of these places where I have lived and avoiding asking family about those events in my life. In this way, I feel that I can stay more true to what the child in me remembers from those places where I once lived. And, of course, which memories stick out for me the most. Many have asked: would I ever visit these places again? And I'm not sure. For some of those places, I have a strong hesitation against the idea of revisiting them, for better or worse.

So, on the one hand, I have the inconsistency and instability of having moved from place to place in the physical world, and on the other hand, I have the consistency and stability of my life within the digital and cyber worlds. For my life and self, the digital world is as much a home and influence for me as any of these physical locations which I reference.

THE VIDEO GAME

For the video game component, I’m tapping into: interactivity, nostalgia, video game culture, character creation, self creation, narrative, puzzles, space and places, etc. I grew up playing video games, and still play even today. I not only grew up with video games and the internet, but grew up in those things as well. They inform(ed) and reflect(ed), in numerous ways, my identity, and this is true for many others as well.

The program I am using, RPG Maker VX Ace (released on March 15, 2012), has graphics which are characteristic of typical SNES games (JRPGs, in particular), a system which was big in the 1990s and impacted my childhood experience. In the game, I am interested in having the user explore these floor plans, which have been adapted from the first poster. The user collects memories contained in some of the locations. A number of these locations reference these physical places where I've lived during childhood, and others refer to more digital and magical places. It is as if you are living in and navigating the memories themselves. And, at the very start of the game, you choose your name and your character. Then, you begin.

On the left, you can see a short excerpt of one example of playing the game, using the Warrior character.